I’ve found the best way to watch crappy football games

Before everyone gets on my nerves for roasting other shitty NFL teams: Yes, I am fully aware that the Dolphins suck. They have played some absolutely terrible games this season. With that out of the way, let’s talk about the game between the Denver Broncos and the New Orleans Saints tonight – because that game is going to be complete crap.

I’ve had to moan to Mintzy all week about how the Saints are being decimated by injuries and how bad they are tonight because, and I quote, “There’s no way Sean Payton is going to lose this game – this is a revenge game for him.” ” .” Oh! And Mintzy will be at the game, which is wild considering he just got back from Nola, but I’m far from surprised that the guy is a Roadrunner. Plus, that We’ll have to watch Bo Nix and Spencer Rattler pretend to be quarterbacks, and yes, buckle up – it’s going to be a long night.

Look, say what you want, but I don’t buy the hype surrounding any of these guys. I expect this game to put people to sleep at halftime. So instead of fighting it or complaining, I came up with the perfect solution: embrace crappy football.

And what better way to embrace a trash game than with a parlay that captures all of the worst elements of it? A bad football game has three core components:

1. Terrible quarterback play.

2. A complete lack of points.

3. At least one team with a solid defense.

And guess what? Today’s game meets all three criteria. So how do you bet on this beautiful mess of a game? Simply:

I’m assuming both quarterbacks throw an interception and the game falls below 37 points.

The best part is that if the team loses, it means we are actually having a good football game. It’s a win-win situation! Either the bet comes to an end, or we get something worth seeing.