“Sexopause”: What happens to women’s sexual desire during menopause | Health

In 2024, the sexuality of middle-aged women is the focus of the film industry. In various projects, mature protagonists have adventures with much younger men, a formula that the world tends to see in reverse, with older men often taking the helm in such May-December stories. Fall brings even more releases in this vein Baby girlan erotic thriller in which Nicole Kidman plays a successful CEO who has a secret affair with her young intern. In I want your sexOlivia Wilde brings to life an artist who turns a fresh-faced man into her sexual muse. Such films are far from the first in which mature women brought sexual content to the screen; Baby girlin which Kidman masturbates after sex with her partner, is notable for illuminating the workings of the female desire for youth. The actress herself has admitted that although sex scenes have always been a part of her career, she has never played such a revealing role. Such advances in cinematic narrative are important because, according to Laura Cámara, gynecologist and obstetrician, sexologist and sexual and reproductive health expert, “sexuality and pleasure are linked to potency, youth and often fertility.” After all this, it seems that Women no longer have the right to be sexual, desirable or to feel desire. We have a lot to do.”

But it’s not just female desire that’s been surfacing lately. This also applies to the topic of menopause and thus to a debate about sexuality in a certain phase of life. In her Spanish language book Sex opausia (Vergara, 2024), Cámara offers an up-close, positive view of sex during menopause, seeking to dissolve taboos and consider a woman’s pleasure as her right, not to mention a primary element of one’s quality of life. When talking about sex during menopause, it’s important to start with the fact that hormonal changes can affect the lived experience of one’s sexuality – but as the educator makes clear, it’s important to challenge the idea that these Changes inevitably lead to the worse. “With Sex opausiaI try to explain that sexuality will change throughout life, but that doesn’t mean it will go away. Adapting to these changes is essential,” she says.

For gynecologist Marimer Pérez, who talks about health and menopause with her half a million followers on social media, it is crucial that we pay attention to the physiological context when looking for solutions to problems that arise in new phases of life turn up. “The cessation of ovarian activity leads to a decrease in estrogen, progesterone and androgens. Although it seems that progesterone plays a minor role in sexual desire, the other hormones do have an influence. Estrogens contribute to lubrication and their decline is linked to a decline in neurotransmitters essential for desire. As serotonin and dopamine (which are associated with pleasure) decrease, it becomes difficult to find joy in everyday life and therefore sex. This scenario affects daily life on a sexual level. A decline in estrogen is associated with reduced lubrication and the famous vaginal atrophy,” she says. Pérez does not believe in solving the problem with medicines, as this lack of desire is due to several factors. However, she sees room for other solutions.

“It is important to take care of the genitals. Just as women have skin care routines, they also need to apply them to their intimate areas. Ask your gynecologist whether you should perform genital lubrication. Sexual desire is important, but dryness and moisture are also crucial in our daily lives. There are many options in this area and it is important to offer solutions and convince women that a simple routine can help them disconnect. Apply eggs internally, add local estrogens to the vagina (I always recommend this at night, along with another type of hydration via oil or eggs), and remember that this basic hydration is essential for pain-free sex. Hormone therapy needs to be on the table. To have good sex, you need to rest and be able to control both hot flashes and mood swings,” she tells EL PAÍS.

In the United States, bioidentical testosterone pellet therapy has become popular to treat declining desire due to imbalanced hormone levels. “This is a controversial topic. It can be useful for women who have no other problems and are in a relationship. But the pellet was marketed as a “youth chip,” says Pérez, who notes that such treatments have not been approved by the European Medicines Agency. Bioidentical hormones are derived from plants such as soy and yams, and the implants are inserted through a small subcutaneous incision into areas of the body with fatty tissue.

Active sexuality is key to quality of life, and as Cámara explains, many studies have linked pleasure and sexual activity to health improvements. “This is not just reserved for women. But let me be clear: When we talk about “active sexuality,” we typically imagine a sexuality that we traditionally consider “normal” and that takes place within a couple. Sexuality is a very broad term that can serve as a bridge between eroticism and pleasure and is in need of revitalization. Sexual pleasure needs to be approached differently so we can continue to have enjoyable sex lives at any age,” she says.

Ana Lombardía, sexual health and wellness expert at sex toy manufacturer Womanizer, believes that feelings of desire, arousal and orgasms improve mood and trigger the release of hormones related to well-being and happiness. “Sexual arousal helps keep the genitals active, prevents atrophy, promotes lubrication and elasticity in this area… On the other hand, the latest study on menopause sponsored by the Womanizer Pleasure Fund suggests that masturbation may be beneficial because it certain “Relieves symptoms, so it’s a good idea to introduce this practice at this stage of life,” she says.

Another huge taboo surrounds andropause, a reality that many men face, especially as they reach their fifties. In our patriarchal culture, it is not common for men to speak openly about challenges they face, especially when it comes to their sex lives. However, difficulties in intimacy can be an opportunity for a couple to renegotiate their sexuality. “You have to reach an intimacy as a couple that allows you to talk about what’s really going on. During consultations, I ask my patients how their husband’s erections are, as they may not be the same as before. We need to take the blame away from women and try to focus on menopause instead. Maybe more foreplay is needed and the couple doesn’t have to expect the relationship to happen within X amount of time when their bodies no longer have the same hormone levels and may need to go slower. This is part of good communication. Let’s not medicalize a process that requires long-term navigation to understand what’s happening and how to communicate about it,” says Pérez, who says that female Viagra seems perverse to her. “Female Viagra is dark because it means taking a pill even when you don’t feel like it so you can satisfy your partner. Instead, the focus should be on the long term,” she says, agreeing with author Anna Freixas, who doesn’t hold back in her book Nuestra menopause (Our Menopause, Capitán Swing Libros, 2024) to invite women to free themselves from sex when they don’t enjoy it and to adapt practices that are not focused on other people’s pleasure, but on what their own bodies need gives good feeling.

In the general discourse about menopause, it seems normal to feel uncomfortable during sex after a certain age, which Cámara vehemently denies. “It’s not normal to feel uncomfortable during sex at any age. However, at certain times in life the pain becomes normal, for example at the beginning of sexual intercourse, during menopause or after childbirth. That’s simply not the case. It is never normal to feel pain. And it’s always necessary to check what might be going on,” she says. Finally, Pérez returns to the importance of communication. “It is important to understand that this is a physiological situation and that a number of measures can be taken. “You have to start with a good dialogue and understand that the partner will experience a certain level of discomfort because he or she does not understand why the partner is not always in the mood,” she says.

“Does anyone know or care whether middle-aged women experience sexual satisfaction?” asked Emma Thompson in an article she wrote for fashion upon the release of the film Good luck, Leo Grande!in which she plays a woman who has never had an orgasm at the age of 63, which leads her to seek the services of a 28-year-old man. It seems that now is finally the moment to ask such a question, and also the moment when we understand that giving up pleasure never has to be the right way, even if gender changes at different stages of our lives changed. “Menopause is a new phase in which there are many changes, including those related to sexuality. If we learn to adapt to them and take advantage of them, we can experience a rebirth of our sex life that may surprise us,” says Lombardía.

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