Being Dead discuss soft pretzels, gummy bears and their new album EELS

PT: Ayahuasca and stuff.

Shmoofy: Yeah, we did a lot of ayahuasca, yeah.

Falcon Bitch: Lots of ayahuasca, aromatherapy. We made yogurt and kimchi and stuff, we fermented.

PT: So a lot of smell, I guess!

Shmoofy: Oh yeah! Lots of smell.

Falcon Bitch: It was really stinky!

PT: What’s most healing when rock and roll is damaging your soul?

Shmoofy: It’s a bit like a hangover where the only cure is more beer. It’s kind of the same thing where the only cure is more rock and roll.

Falcon Bitch: It doesn’t make much sense, but it’s like a loss of trust.

PT: About the adorable portrait on the first album, that horse is beautiful. Does it have a name and is it housed somewhere?

Falcon Bitch: The horse? The name is Horsey.

Shmoofy: I thought the name was Horses. The album is called As horses would run (Laugh).

Falcon Bitch: The name is Horses, didn’t I say that, I thought I said Horses.

PT: Horsey

Falcon Bitch: Oh strange, that’s just a blip.

Shmoofy: Those are horses on the front.

Female Hawk: A horse. At first it was confusing for us, people thought we were talking about more than one.

Shmoofy: It’s a Greek name. *pronounces the short syllable “horses”.

PT: This album is a bit darker than the previous one. Were there extenuating circumstances or did it just happen that way?

Falcon Bitch: We’re both a little angrier and more tormented. A bit worn out, the industry is giving us a hard time.

Shmoofy: When we didn’t get Pitchfork’s Best New Music, we decided to almost give up on the game and thought, “We’ll just make one that’s undeniably better.” “We’ll show them.” So a lot of it was anger.

PT: What’s the biggest thing that would really surprise people in Texas?

Shmoofy: Oh, it must be the UT Jumbotron. The UT Jumbotron in the football stadium.

Falcon: I wanted to say something wholesome like the power of friendship, the eternal bond of love and friendship.

PT: Well, that’s actually surprising.

Shmoofy: Yes, Texas is a really tolerant community.

Falcon Bitch: Yes, a really accepting community.

PT: Where is the best place to eat in a mall food court?

Shmoofy: OMG, that’s so relatable! I was just at the mall. I don’t remember the name, it’s an independent place, they actually serve Japanese food.

Falcon Bitch: You have to go for either Japanese or Chinese food.

Shmoofy: It’s funny because there’s another place right next to it, a Vietnamese place, right next to the Japanese place that I go to. There is never anyone in line at the Vietnamese place and there is always a huge line at the Japanese place. I really feel sorry for the Vietnamese place, the prices are a bit higher… You have to think of something.

Falcon Bitch: Did you eat there just because you felt bad?

Shmoofy: Well, the first time I ate there I thought, “This place is obviously better, this one has all the people.” There’s a little robot that announces your order and then says: Robot voice: “Please take yours.” Eat with,” that’s really cool.

PT: Automation steals jobs, but you have to watch out for them, they are really tricky, they plan and plan.

Shmoofy: I like to think that there is someone on the other side who likes to read lines.

PT: Well, that’s actually a much more comforting thought.

Falcon Bitch: As long as there is no one who wants to do this job, I’m fine with it.

Shmoofy: If I could get paid $20 an hour to say “please have the food,” then I’m game.

PT: Aunt Anne’s or Cinnabon?

Falcon Bitch: AUNT ANNE’S! AUNT ANNE’S!

Shmoofy: I think from Aunt Anne, right? I think I’ve been to Auntie Anne’s, but for me it’s more of an airport bar.

Falcon Bitch: Really?

Shmoofy: Well, the airport is just kind of a big shopping center.

PT: Yes, an airport is just a shopping center with big airplanes.

Falcon Bitch: At the airport? Yes, they don’t have Auntie Anne’s.

Shmoofy: Really? Maybe I’m thinking of Wetzel’s pretzels. I’m more of a Rold Gold guy.

Falcon Bitch: There are no soft pretzels!!

Shmoofy: That’s what I mean.

PT: That’s what he says, he’s more of a hard pretzel guy, it’s really about quality.

Falcon Bitch: He definitely likes having a hard body.

Shmoofy: Yes.

PT: What’s the best way to pass the time on a day off from tour?

Falcon Bitch: BASEBALL!

Shmoofy: Baseball, yeah.

Falcon Bitch: We have our baseball gloves, our gloves. By the way, where is mine?

Shmoofy: [laughter] This is actually bad timing.

Falcon Bitch: What!? What happened to my baseball glove?

Shmoofy: Remember I told you Victoria broke… I told you someone broke into her back yard and stole all our shit. Our baseball gloves were back there.

Falcon Bitch: I BOUGHT THAT! You actually bought the one I bought with my own money, not the band’s treasury!

Shmoofy: They were all stolen! With the band fund we can buy more, we still have to get more.

Falcon Bitch: I’m so angry.

Shmoofy: Dude, I’m not happy about it either. I was really disappointed in you because I know how much you loved your love. I thought it was going to be really hard to tell you and make it clear to you.

Falcon Bitch: That sucks. I’m really sad. I actually dreamed about the glove recently.

Shmoofy: OMG, this is so ridiculous. We’ll get another one, we’ll get better ones anyway. Yes, throwing the ball around is the best way.

PT: Racket ball for two people, or is it like a real game?

Falcon Bitch: I would call it a game of betrayal.

Shmoofy: Oh shit. We like to “pop fly” and throw it up, shout “DOUBLE PLAY” and throw the ball very quickly.

Falcon Bitch: Yes, we would like to do that, we used to do that a lot, right??

Shmoofy: We haven’t even thrown the ball around yet! This interview has gone down the drain.

Falcon Bitch: Someone’s in the doghouse.

Shmoofy: I’m in trouble, I know, I know.

PT: Any conflicts outside of the band that you’re allowed to talk about, or is it more of a romantic relationship?

Falcon Bitch: We still have some beef with Big Bill… I guess the beef has been squashed with Big Bill.

Shmoofy: I don’t know… I mean, we always have beef with Julien Baker.

Falcon Bitch: Yes, that’s right, we have a fight with Julien Baker.

Shmoofy: I don’t even know if she knows we’re having a fight with her.

Falcon Bitch: She has no idea.

PT: One sided beef is the best.

Falcon Bitch: Yes, you only cook the beef on one side.

Shmoofy: Everyone loves us.

PT: With the energy and just the mood, it’s understandable.

Falcon: That and if we just let go of our… um… we’ll have a lot of hot takes. Just kidding, we’re sweethearts.

PT: What do you think is the biggest theme of the new album?

Both: water

PT: Water flows everywhere. So when something is so massive, it has to have an impact.

Falcon Bitch: It’s everywhere.

Shmoofy: Maybe we should have named this album Now rivers should flow!

PT: What’s better than a regular eel or an electric eel?

Hawk: American eels and European eels 10 out of 10 better than electric eels. You can love them, you can kiss them, you can swim with them. They won’t hurt you. They are relaxed, they tell good jokes.

Shmoofy: Do electric eels actually shock you?

Falcon Bitch: They can’t kill you, they don’t produce enough power to kill a human, but they can…they’ll hurt you.

Both: They will blow your mind.