When is it OK to let your child wear a scary horror movie costume?

It’s a moment in parenthood that comes for all of us: you’re walking through the aisles of a Target, a Walmart, or a Spirit Halloween store while your child darts back and forth, inspecting all the costumes. And then suddenly you pass your usual section and end up in this one definitely scary corner. There’s a Ghostface bling mask complete with a dress and a bloody knife, 10 variations of killer clowns, the smell of the latex masks is overpowering and – what a bogeyman – a hideous costume with a dropped jaw. And that’s what your child drags back to the shopping cart. So when is it okay to let your child wear the scary costume?

Before you go to the store, you first need to know what you think about scary costumes. Are you into horror stuff in general? Monsters like bloody zombies or werewolves? Secure. Murderers or dead people? Maybe this is where you draw the line. Just think about it a little before your child presents you with a costume that they’ve been holding on to. And if you’re not comfortable with scary costumes yet, it’s totally okay to say no up front.

“It’s important for parents to have a clear understanding of their own values ​​and beliefs and to convey these to their child in a developmentally appropriate way,” says Nashedra Barry, PhD, licensed psychologist at Children’s of Alabama Behavioral Health Outpatient-Ireland Center. “If scary costumes don’t align with your family’s values ​​- whether for religious, cultural or other reasons – it’s entirely reasonable to encourage a more appropriate costume or avoid it altogether. The key is to be proactive.”

If your main concern is that your child is too young to dress up as something scary – will it traumatize them or something? – Maybe just wait another year or two. A mom shared on Reddit that her 5-year-old spotted a Ghostface costume at the store and bought it for him, but she didn’t like how interested he was in playing with the knife accessory. In the comments, parents were divided: Some said it’s sometimes fun to pretend to be a villain, while others have adopted blanket no-scary-costume rules in their families.

Young children still see the world through “magical thinking,” which Barry says makes it difficult for them to distinguish between fantasy and reality. This usually wears off around age 10, so it’s safest to say no to horror costumes beforehand (though of course you can still see scary things in the store or on Halloween night).

“Each child’s ability to tolerate certain costumes or content varies, and parents are often best placed to figure out what their children can handle. If your child still has difficulty distinguishing between the real and the imaginary, or if he or she has a history of trauma, it may be best to choose funny or cute costumes instead, says Barry. But if your child asks about the costume, there’s a good chance it won’t faze them. Let them be a little terror if they want.

Ultimately, you’re not a bad mom if you let your child dress up like Michael Myers, and you’re not a bad mom if you disappoint them by saying no. The most important thing is that your children can enjoy the vacation in a way that is fun, safe and “consistent with your family values,” says Barry.

If you’re worried that your child might be deeply affected by dressing up as something scary or just seeing other scary costumes on Halloween night, then have no fear. “Remember that no matter what choice you make, it is unlikely that an otherwise well-adjusted child will suffer lasting trauma from the Halloween festivities,” says Barry. If your main concern is what your mother-in-law will think, remind her that every year countless children dress up as scary creatures and characters and blend in perfectly.

So say “yes” or “no”. There is no right answer. It depends on your child, your beliefs, your preference for scary things, and exactly which costume your child is actively begging for. Because let’s face it: a vampire with bloody fangs is one thing. A spandex suit, whatever the hell that is? Hard pass, boy. The Paw Patrol overalls are like that.