“At the Big Brother launch show I asked myself: Is this the best you’ve got?”

The latest series of ITV’s revamped Big Brother started on Sunday evening and it’s fair to say there was a certain amount of excitement in the air.

Will Best was very excited and had developed a bad case of “I can’t wait” syndrome. His co-host AJ Odudo was also very excited and appeared to be battling a severe bout of “you shouldn’t miss this” fever.

As for adding new roommates? Well, you didn’t have to wait long to find out how excited they were. The first to come in, a tea-addicted dental assistant named Rosie, certainly broke the world record for the most times a person could say “Oh my God!” within a minute. To be fair, Rosie did warn us that “some people find me annoying,” so we can at least say she stayed true to herself.

The hysteria barely abated from that moment, reaching a new peak with the arrival of the 16th and final housemate, 35-year-old London hairdresser Dean, who breathlessly declared: “I’ve wanted to be on Big Brother since I was 11 .”

Your reaction to this revelation probably says a lot about your overall feelings about Big Brother. If you’re thinking, “Man, what a sad waste of life,” then this show is definitely not for you.

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However, if you’re delighted that a young man’s dreams have come true, or if you’ve had the same dream yourself for years, then I’m sure ITV would love to see more from you over the next six weeks.

Given that ITV planners haven’t even bothered to show launch night on the main channel this year, they may not be too concerned about whether anyone tunes in or not.

Considering how drastically ratings fell last year after the initial nostalgic enthusiasm that attracted almost 4 million viewers on launch night, I can understand why ITV decided not to risk it again on the main channel.

The problem is that the show has to generate its own publicity and buzz. It’s a risky strategy. So it’s no surprise that the producers and bookers apparently went back to some old reality show favorites. Romance and conflict.

They sent a whole bunch of singles into the house, and judging by the introductory VTs, at least two of the guys seemed to think they were going on a dating show.

However, ready and willing does not necessarily mean capable. It remains to be seen if there will be a romantic spark between the housemates.

However, with ITV using the age-old trick of incorporating a series of polar opposites, we can be sure that sparks of a different kind will fly.

Looking at the 16 contestants, it would be easy to think that Big Brother producers simply made a list of the most popular arguments on social media and adjusted the cast accordingly.

All you had to do was listen to how the roommates identified themselves as they entered.

We have a barge-dwelling climate activist (Daze), a young Scot (Nathan) who “strangely admires Nigel Farage” and “votes Tory”, a no-nonsense northern boy (Ryan) who has no time for waking up Lot , a refugee from Lebanon (Khaled), a devout Christian (Segun), a proud Muslim (Hanah), a 53-year-old mummy from Manchester (Emma) who wears padded underwear and twice played a nurse in Coronation Street, and a future lesbian (Ali) who works as a forensic psychologist and has already vowed to analyze her roommates.

I think it’s also important to mention that there is a rapper from London (Marcello) who, despite being a 34-year-old adult, readily admits that he grew up hero-worshiping Peter Andre. However, I’m not sure if this will cause tension in the house – unless someone asks him to name another Peter Andre song besides “Mysterious Girl.”

ITV will no doubt also be hoping Nathan reveals a few headline-grabbing royal secrets he discovered from his time working as a butler to King Charles.

Unfortunately, as he is only 24 years old, I am guessing that he did not work that many days in the Windsor household. In this case, I highly doubt we are dealing with another Paul Burrell. Still, I think Nathan might reveal whether his new career as a pork seller was inspired by his time serving his royal Sausage Fingers.

Anyway, to keep all these polar opposites from getting in each other’s way, the producers pulled another old favorite out of the hat for the release. They divided the house into two parts: roommates and non-roommates, with the latter group automatically facing the first eviction.

I have no doubt that this will achieve the desired effect. As you read this, everything is probably starting to happen around the house. However, the fact that they released it on opening night made me wonder, “Seriously, is this the best you’ve got?”

Because if that’s the case, I’m afraid there’s a real danger that at some point in the next six weeks I’ll decide to become a channel change activist.

Big Brother continues nightly at 9pm on ITV2.