What “Hurried Child Syndrome” is and is not

The list of what we shouldn’t say as parents seems to be growing – first we were told we couldn’t say “well done,” then we were banned from saying “be careful.” [For the record, I don’t think there is anything wrong with “good job” or “be careful”— except that these phrases are perhaps not specific enough to communicate most efficiently with your children.] Now the phrase “Hurry up” has effectively been deleted.

The recent controversy over “Hurry Up” appears to have stemmed from a post that went viral on Instagram claiming that the The most common cause of anxiety in children is parents rushing them. But almost every parent who has young children literally goes to or participates in school any An activity occurring at a particular time likely attempted to force or push the child out the door. So is this a real problem or just another way to make parents feel guilty about completely normal behavior?

Since I’m not the type to allow parent-shaming without at least questioning the source of the claims, I asked the psychologist who made these bold statements if she could please send me a link to the research on which she was referring to. She sent me this article that claims that “hurry child syndrome” leads to stress and depression, but doesn’t cite any actual research, just other articles on “hurry child syndrome” that also not based on actual research. Additionally, as described in this article, rush child syndrome appears to be a different and broader concept than simply urging a child to get out the door.

What is Hurried Child Syndrome?

So where does this concept come from if it’s not based on research? The psychologist Dr. David Elkins coined the term “hurried child syndrome” in his book “The Hurried Child,” originally published in 1981. For example, if a child is overloaded with extracurricular activities, is under pressure to perform, or a child is expected to act older than he or she is. However, “hurry child syndrome” is not an official diagnosis used by mental health professionals and it appears to be a more theoretical concept.

But does saying “hurry up” actually cause anxiety?

So rush child syndrome may seem like a different concept than simply telling your child to “hurry up” occasionally, but you may still be wondering whether rushing causes anxiety in children. It seems possible that regularly hectic children cause stress, which in turn leads to chronic anxiety. However, we currently have NO Evidence that saying “hurry up” or rushing a child causes fear or negative consequences. Research suggests that anxiety disorders in children are caused by both genetic and environmental factors (translation: both nature and nurture), and it is unlikely that any one factor alone would cause an anxiety disorder. Some research has shown that excessive parental control leads to anxiety in children. This could look like not allowing your child to make any decisions during the preparation process, giving them no control over their schedule, or doing everything for your child. Still, asking your child to hurry or rush doesn’t seem overly controlling or intrusive. More broadly, research finds that parenting accounts for only 4% of the variance in child anxiety, suggesting that your parenting choices alone are unlikely to lead to an anxiety disorder in your children.

Complete translation

We have no evidence that rush child syndrome is a real problem for parents or that telling your child to hurry up causes anxiety. However, telling your child to hurry up may not be the most effective strategy as it is not informative and does not teach skills. Additionally, hectic pace can cause immediate stress for both you and your child.