I ask Eric: As a child, I was considered lazy. As an adult, I can’t do anything

Dear Eric: In the winter I go on vacation for three to five weeks with two very dear friends. It’s about the TV “rights”. A friend cannot sleep in a bed (physically unable) and makes himself comfortable in the living area of ​​a random vacation rental, watching TV, sometimes late into the night – and sleeping in the living area at the same time.

My other friend comes in (from a perfectly good bed), turns on the channel (their TV preferences are completely opposite) and then also falls asleep, triggering a “gasp” from the now wide awake friend. First World Problems? You can bet on it.

We are all over 70. Any ideas on how to get them to share the TV or how to set boundaries for them? I’m just happy to be on vacation and could care less about watching TV. – Keep the drama on the subway

Dear drama: Who would have thought that nightly reruns of “The Nanny” or “Trading Spaces” could cause so much controversy?! The easiest way to prevent this is to agree as a group that after a certain period of time, the living room will become the bedroom of the friend who cannot sleep in a bed. It’s already de facto her bedroom and you’ve all accepted that. Setting a “lights off, door closed” period helps establish a boundary.

Ideally she would do that instead of bringing you, but that’s friendship.

Another option: Find a rental property with TVs in the bedrooms too. This way, both friends can watch whatever they want independently and you can sleep undisturbed by anger.

Dear Eric: In response to “Walking on Eggshells” about how to say the right words to people in difficult times. Yes! “I love you, I’m sorry, I’m here” are wonderful! As someone who has had to raise two children with disabilities, suddenly lose a relatively young husband, and deal with many other major life issues one after the other, please add to the list, “You’re doing great!” That was music to my ears. Also: “Let me help you with…” or “I’m here to…” And then show up.

I’ve never been good at asking for help, but oh, how wonderful it was when it arrived! A meal, help with packing, another pair of hands. Beyond kind words, actions speak loudest. – Do and say

Dear doing and saying: Thank you for these wonderful suggestions! You’re doing great!

Send questions to R. Eric Thomas at [email protected] or PO Box 22474, Philadelphia, PA 19110. Keep following him Instagram and subscribe to his weekly newsletter at rericthomas.com.