Separated by screens: Stop replacing human connection with entertainment

From the editorial team

We all have characters that we look to when we want a connection. Maybe you watch that one movie every year or listen to that one album every time you feel sad. Some of us have created a persona for our favorite influencer and stalked them on Instagram, thinking we knew them.

We all have that one character that we’re convinced would be the love of our lives if she actually existed (Season Three’s Jess Mariano on Gilmore Girls). The extent to which we obsess over the latest TV show or romantic comedy, anticipate the latest romance novel, defend our favorite star who “wouldn’t hurt a fly,” or stalk influencers on social media has become frightening.

According to experts, these things are not just guilty pleasures. They are harmful. A 2014 Stanford study found that “low levels of social connection are associated with worsening physical and mental health, as well as a higher likelihood of antisocial behavior that leads to further isolation.”

The connection between social belonging and mental health has been painfully clear during the COVID-19 pandemic, and experts largely agree on the biggest psychological byproduct of lockdown: loneliness.

COVID-19 has done seemingly irreversible damage to people’s desire for human connection. Not only has it forced everyone to use technology and entertainment to fulfill their desire for contact as face-to-face meetings have become deadly, but the world now seems to be afraid of human contact because it risks having it taken away at any moment become.

It’s easy to look back and laugh remembering the good old days of fighting over toilet paper and consuming obscene amounts of Netflix, but I dare say we’re traumatized. We have trained ourselves to replace face-to-face contact with Zoom calls. We couldn’t leave our houses to meet new people, so we lived vicariously through Kristen Bell as we re-watched her journey to love on The Good Place, the eighth most popular TV show of the pandemic.

Now, four years after COVID-19 began, the obsession with characters and celebrities is just as present, except with real people available. We just keep choosing to replace them with fake ones. Despite the availability of suitable personal contacts, we try to fulfill this desire through a connection through a screen and an obsession with the characters.

Whether it’s honestly believing that you and Taylor Swift have been best friends since you made eye contact at the Eras Tour, or watching Twilight instead of going outside because no one could ever love you like Edward Cullen would do it, Many of us are guilty of replacing connection with entertainment and breaking up.

The bottom line is that Heath Ledger’s character in “10 Things I Hate About You” doesn’t exist, and even if he did, he wouldn’t quit smoking and turn away from his “evil” behavior just for you. And guess what? You don’t have to defend Kanye with your dying breath because he doesn’t know you exist. Stop rewatching the rain proposal scene from the 2005 film Pride and Prejudice and go outside.

Form meaningful relationships. Talk to your friends. It’s fun to follow your favorite artist’s tour, re-read your favorite novel and enjoy romance series, but it won’t satisfy your desire for human contact. But the good news is that there are other people everywhere and we suspect they’re looking for connection too.