Sometimes entertainment makes everything right: Here’s how to talk to your kids about suicide

We learn from entertainment.

We may not believe it, but it’s true. Entertainment can influence the way we think and feel. It can even influence how we act or react in some very serious situations in the real world.

Sometimes these lessons can be just right. Last year, a 12-year-old boy saved someone’s life after watching someone perform cardiopulmonary resuscitation correctly Stranger Things. But sometimes the “lessons” we learn can be terribly wrong.

And these lessons are rarely more critical than those taught by the conversation about depression, mental illness, and dealing with someone struggling with suicidal thoughts.

The overwhelming and growing problem

It has been 19 years since the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline was launched at 1-800-273-8255. In its first year, the number received 46,000 calls. An average of more than 3,000 young people now attempt suicide every day.

“As you approach the age of 15, most kids have encountered it at some point, whether online or in their own lives,” said Joannie DeBrito, a counselor specializing in suicide and a regular contributor to Focus on the Family writes. “So you talk to them very directly about it and what it is and why people might get to the point where they want to take their own life, but most importantly, there are great early intervention options to help.” Man Lets them know about it, but also lets them know that it’s not a hopeless situation.”

And there Is Hope. DeBrito says early intervention by doctors or mental health professionals is crucial. She says the vast majority of people with suicidal thoughts who receive this early intervention actually do better.

Not only do many teens struggle with suicidal thoughts, but many have also seen them in a friend’s life and have often found themselves in a position to talk to them about these incredibly serious issues. DeBrito believes that no one should assume that a depressive state is “just a phase.”

“No one should ever be afraid to ask someone if they are thinking about suicide for fear that it will put an idea in their head,” DeBrito said. “If they really haven’t thought about it, they’ll usually thank you for asking. Once they think about it, they feel relieved.”

Either way, showing a friend or child that you care helps resolve potential problems rather than making them worse or causing non-existent problems.

At Connectedwe know how media can be used as a catalyst for conversation, and from my own conversation with DeBrito, it’s clear that the conversation needs to be had. So here are five media productions that address suicide and talk to others about suicide in a healthy way.

Oh, and a quick note: Even if they landed on one Connected On the list, these films do not receive an unrestricted seal of approval. No film is perfect and you know better than we do what is appropriate for you and your family. Before you watch those movies or TV shows or listen to those songs, check out our Connected Reviews or (for the media that may not have reviews) do a little digging yourself.

“How to Save a Life” by The Fray (2005)

This song by The Fray offers a sort of step-by-step guide to talking to a suicidal friend. It is written with a tone of regret that the singer did not do everything he could to save his friend’s life, but with a determination to do everything possible in the future. DeBrito also has a step-by-step guide of sorts.

“So you can say, ‘You’re important to me.’ I love you. I don’t want you to get hurt, but I’m not sure what to do about it. But I’m willing to go through this with you,” DeBrito said.

Just as the song encourages people to reach out to their friends with persistence and love, you should also be prepared to accompany them as encouragement as they tell a trusted adult.

“We know that support for children is incredibly helpful,” DeBrito said. “So if they’re in a family and they have wonderful parental support, the idea of ​​keeping the parents out is usually not a good idea because the parents usually have the best ideas about how to help their children and they have the most take care of them.” .”

A million little things emphasizes this point. After the seemingly fine Jon Dixon suddenly commits suicide, his friends and family begin to tell each other about their own problems and struggles. Although there are some serious issues with the content of the show, the message regarding mental illness is on point.

In Plugged inTheir review of the show states: “It’s about encouraging people to open up and talk about their problems (even the seemingly small ones). To reach friends and family. To get help. And as this series highlights, we could all use some help sometimes.”

For “God Only Knows” by King & Country (2018)

No, we’re not talking about the Beach Boys song. Luke and Joel Smallbone of For King & Country have long been committed to addressing spiritual and mental health issues in the Christian community, using their band and online platform as a vulnerable and biblical ministry. DeBrito spoke to the singers himself.

“It was so wonderful to work with them and they were so concerned about the issue of suicide because they had experienced it themselves; Not themselves, but people they know who are struggling with severe clinical depression and are trying to figure out how to help them,” DeBrito said.

The song encourages listeners by telling them that God knows what everyone is going through and loves them more than they could know. “God Only Knows” is a powerful song.

“The Telephone Call” (TV-14, 2013)

The Oscar-winning short film shows a crisis hotline counselor speaking to the disembodied voice of Stanley, who says he is on the verge of suicide. Since Stanley just wants someone to talk to him while he’s dying, Heather – the counselor – finds a way to get him medical help without Stanley giving him his address or information.

The film is a sombre reminder of the important work of these consultants. DeBrito emphasizes the importance of suicide resources that support mental health professionals.

“You’re going to look for websites that actually emphasize professional mental health care, because some websites – even Christian websites – say that mental health care is not biblical,” DeBrito said.

“Prayer is vital,” DeBrito says. “It may be our best tool, but it doesn’t come at the expense of other tools or resources.”

DeBrito emphasizes both and, as a Christian counselor, knows the importance of viewing mental health issues from a biblical and scientific framework. To save a life emphasizes the need for God in turbulent times.

When Jake witnesses the suicide of his former friend Roger, he is confronted with guilt and a determination to do better. He finds mentorship with a local priest and comfort and determination in his faith.

The film deals with some pretty heavy themes, which can make it difficult to watch. Despite it, Connected Reviewer Paul Asay wrote, “I wanted to show it to my 16-year-old daughter – because it actively applies biblical principles to serious issues that teenagers struggle with every day.”

Diploma

Of course, this is not an exhaustive list, but it can be a starting point and guide to media content that appropriately addresses suicide. Many other films, television shows, and songs address the topic of suicide in healthy and/or spiritual ways. However, others seem to approach the issue in unhealthy ways and some even seem to glorify suicide.

If you’re talking to a friend or loved one about suicidal thoughts, DeBrito recommends treating it as a serious issue and finding out how seriously the person has thought about taking their own life (e.g., Do they have a plan?) and Then I seek professional help.

“If someone sits down with you and says, ‘I want to tell you something, but you can’t tell anyone,’ your answer has to be, ‘I can’t promise that,'” DeBrito said. “‘I want to hear what you have to say, but I care about you. And if you think of something that could harm you or someone else, I can’t keep it a secret because I don’t want anyone to get hurt.'”

For more information about how best to talk to your children, teens or friends about the issues that lead to suicide and about suicide, visit Focus on the Family’s Alive to Thrive program. It’s a free, six-module program from Christian clinical experts designed to help parents and mentors do just that.

If you are in crisis, please call the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline on 988 or contact the Crisis Text Line by texting TALK to 741741.