To all men who love football: Stand up against matchday “banter” and sexual violence | football

TTottenham supporter Eve De Haan’s account of a televised sexual assault after Spurs v Brentford is a stark reminder that, as much as we love football, it remains a male-dominated space where harmful behavior all too often goes unchecked . It’s not just a football problem; It is a social problem that plays a role in football. But the environment at games and on public transport invites silence rather than support. We must break this silence. If you were shocked reading the article, you weren’t paying attention.

The numbers are damning and we know they are just the tip of the iceberg. It is estimated that two million women are victims of male violence in England and Wales every year (that’s one in twelve), and the numbers are rising every year. Only 3% of 18-24 year olds in the UK have done this not were sexually harassed in public spaces, a 2021 survey found. We know the problem for women is much bigger than reported. The same survey shows that 95% of women do not report incidents of sexual harassment due to, among other things, fear of not being believed and the traumatic processes that come with it.

These are not just isolated cases; It’s about a culture that normalizes and excuses male violence against women and allows it to happen repeatedly and with impunity. And when the jokes, jokes, and laughter come from bystanders doing nothing, it’s no wonder some men feel like they can get away with it.

Casual sexism (including “banter”) is a gateway to coercive control, violence, and abuse. Of course, not everyone who makes bigoted comments will resort to violence; But normalizing sexist language serves as tacit permission and emboldens those who escalate to violence.

Football cannot ignore the fact that these issues will continue to arise unless it deals with them head-on. The question shouldn’t be, “How do women get home safely?” It should be, “Why do men feel emboldened to attack women after soccer, even when there are other people around?” Too often we see bystanders – other men – who laugh at the behavior as if it were just part of the game day jokes. We need a holistic approach in which the responsibility for creating safe spaces is not passed on to women, but is taken on by everyone.

As Women of the Lane, a support group for women who love Spurs, we want to create safer spaces and a sense of community between women and non-binary fans. We work with the club to improve matchday experiences, to connect and support female Spurs fans, whether through traveling together or creating safer, more inclusive spaces locally, and to address sexism and misogyny that we face. But let’s be clear: our ultimate goal is not for women to adapt our behavior to avoid assault; It is first and foremost that men stop denigrating and attacking us.

Thanks to countless organizations working tirelessly to end male violence against women and girls, we have seen a shift toward a shared understanding that casual sexism is not harmless. But to accomplish the task, we need men who lead by example. This means standing up, speaking out and challenging those around you when they see or hear something that crosses the line. Silence is complicity, and there is no place for bystanders in this fight.

This is about demanding a change in mentality that underlies the game we love.

We must ask ourselves what role football can play in shaping these conversations. We know Premier League players have platforms with wide reach. Let’s look at how they are using these platforms for positive change, speaking openly about sexual harassment and violence, and why men have a role to play in change. This is not just about police measures; It’s about changing attitudes that enable this type of behavior.

We call on institutions like the police and Transport for London to do more, but no amount of surveillance, extra patrols or public awareness campaigns will solve the problem if the core problem remains: a culture where it is acceptable to treat women this way. You only have to look at the charging and prosecution rates for sexual assault to see that it’s easy to get away with.

Women of the Lane will continue to bring women together so we can all feel safe playing the game we love. But to all the men who love football as much as we do: stand up, be counted and lead the change. It’s time to change football culture to one that truly values ​​safety and respect for all of us, regardless of gender.

Chris Paouros is co-founder of women of the alley