A look back at Liam Payne’s life in the spotlight

CNN
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Many One Direction fans are finding it difficult to understand the death of former band member Liam Payne.

According to local police, the 31-year-old singer died on Wednesday after falling from the third floor of a hotel in Buenos Aires, Argentina.

Mourning the death of an artist can be a strange parasocial loss. Their lives become part of our lives through their work. The best of these let us see ourselves reflected on screen or in song, creating a feeling of connection.

Much of Payne’s fan base grew up with him, which added to the sense of loss over his sudden death.

Video of what is believed to be Payne’s first television appearance was shared widely on social media on Thursday.

It was 2008 when the 14-year-old aspiring British singer from Wolverhampton auditioned for The X Factor, a popular reality talent competition.

At the time, young Payne said he was more focused on making music than on schoolwork.

“It’s a dream. I would like to do it,” he explained his career aspirations as a singer.

Payne had a simple answer when judge Louis Walsh asked him why he came to audition.

“I’m here to win,” Payne said. “A lot of people said I was a good singer, I had the X factor. I don’t really know what the X factor is, and I think you do.”

He then performed a cover of Frank Sinatra’s “Fly Me To The Moon.” Judge Simon Cowell said he believed Payne had “potential” but lacked “courage” and “emotion”.

Payne was passed on to the next round to the delight of his family, but was ultimately axed during the live shows. He was told to go home, concentrate on his studies and return in two years.

He did just that and realized that letting him off the show the first time was the right decision.

“I was really young and not ready,” Payne said at the time. “Now I’m 16, I’m back and I’m ready to try again.”

He impressed the judges with a cover of Michael Buble’s version of “Cover Me A River.” Cowell praised his “confidence, his “charisma” and his “credibility.”

Ultimately, Payne was paired with fellow contestants Niall Horan, Harry Styles, Louis Tomlinson and Zayn Malik because Cowell felt they worked better as a group than as solo artists.

Cowell’s guess was correct. As One Direction, the teenagers took third place in the competition, but went on to become one of the most successful boy bands of all time. Her global fan base of “directors” loved her boyish charm, talent and good looks. They also proved to be completely relatable to their young fans, networking on social media as the platforms grew in influence.

During an interview with MTV to promote their 2013 music documentary “One Direction: This Is Us,” the group answered questions from viewers, including one about the superhero they would like to be friends with.

Payne chose Iron Man.

“He just has that swagger and I think he would be fun to be around,” he said.

A breakup and a relationship

Interest in the group and their personal lives reached a fevered pitch during their performances together between 2010 and the announcement in 2015 that they would be taking a break after it was announced that Malik was leaving One Direction.

The remaining members returned for an appearance at The They made their red carpet debut as a couple at the Global Gift Gala in Paris, where Cole received the Philanthropist Award.

He took to social media to share their joy.

“So proud of her tonight 😘😘Such a special award,” Payne wrote alongside a photo of them together.

The following year, they announced the birth of their son Bear. The couple parted ways in 2018, but remained committed co-parents to their child.

“It was a difficult decision for us,” Payne wrote in a statement at the time. “We still have so much love for each other as a family. The bear is our world and we ask that you respect his privacy as we walk through this world together.”

Payne has been open about some of the challenges he faced in navigating young fame.

“If you do hundreds and hundreds of them [concerts] And it’s the same 22 songs at the same time every day, even if you’re not happy you have to go out,” Payne told Men’s Health Australia in 2019.

“It’s almost like putting on the Disney costume before you go on stage, and under the Disney costume I was pissed most of the time because there was no other way to understand what was going on,” he told the publication. “I mean, it was fun. We had a blast, but there were certain spots where it was just a little toxic.”

During an appearance on The Diary of a CEO podcast in 2021, he opened up about other personal struggles, sharing that he was “worried” about “how low I would sink.”

“Where is the bottom for me? And you would never have seen it,” he said. “I’m very good at hiding it. No one would have ever seen it.”

He also recalled seeing photos of himself looking bloated from drug abuse.

“I call it my pills and alcohol face,” Payne said. “My face was about ten times bigger than it is now. I just didn’t particularly like myself and then I made a change.”

In July 2023, he announced in a video shared on YouTube that he had sought treatment and had been sober for six months.

Payne said he is grateful and “absolutely loved” his life has contributed to his pursuit of sobriety.

“I love making music,” he explained. “The most important thing was to go back to the source and find out why I like this.”

Payne most recently released the song “Teardrops” in March.

“When I make music, I always think about images as much as I think about sounds,” Payne explained in a video recording the song. “The feelings that these chords and different things make me feel, each of these songs is a story from my life.”