Sarah Drew says she was “not afraid” when she guested on Grey’s Anatomy, even after her “unfair” dismissal

Grey’s Anatomy star Sarah Drew said her exit from the long-running ABC series at the end of season 14 was “unjust” but that returning to the series for seasons 17 and 18 was “liberating.” She told former co-stars Jessica Capshaw and Camilla Luddington on the “Call It What It Is” podcast on Sunday: “I don’t need anything from anyone on set anymore.”

“You are no longer responsible for my livelihood. You are not responsible for my success or my happiness,” Drew added. “So it feels very, very liberating to get back in.”

Drew is the first “main cast member” to join the podcast, something Luddington says fans have been “begging” for.

The actress, who played April Kepner on the show for nine seasons, also defended a previous comment she made that being fired was tantamount to “participating.” [my] own funeral.” She told Capshaw and Luddington in full: “What I was attempt was to describe… [I] was summarily dismissed in a way that felt mean and unfair, and Because From there, the love was so powerful that you felt like you were sitting there watching people [eulogize you].”

Following the news that she had lost her job in 2018, Drew posted a lengthy statement on social media. “I know you’re sad. I’m sad too. I didn’t really have the time to process this information. Since I’ve only been here for less than 48 hours, I’m not ready to say thank you or make a full statement about my nine years here. That will come later,” she wrote in part.

The actress also revealed that she was initially only offered a two-episode contract for Grey’s after working with Shonda Rhimes on another project. “I was originally offered the role of the woman who was George [O’Malley] saved [when he] was hit by a truck. She had an episode at the end of season five, beginning of season six.”

Drew was unable to take on the role due to a scheduling conflict, she said, and Rhimes invited her back to the series a few seasons later. April Kepner had staying power, which she said increased after her character and Jesse Williams’ character began a relationship.

“Before my character got together with Jesse Williams, I had always played a bumbling, ugly duckling and not pretty people,” she said. “I was ugly until my character started dating Jesse – and now I’m playing romantic leads.”

“I loved all the weird characters I played before moving into the romantic lead,” Drew added.

Her relationship with Williams as a co-star was strong. Drew referenced the Season 10 episode “Go It Alone,” in which their characters argued about how they would raise a deaf child. Drew’s character, Kepner, was open about her Christian faith, and it was not uncommon for conversations to focus on religion, especially when the topics stirred up tense feelings.

In the episode, Kepner essentially told Williams’ Jackson Avery that she felt sorry for him because “you have no faith” — a statement she struggled with in real life because it felt “so arrogant.” Drew added: “So I remember crying… there were so many times with Jesse [like that]” as Williams “distilled” her emotions to make the scenes work.

You can listen to the entire podcast episode on iHeartRadio.