How I travel around the world with my highly sensitive child

Sheeka Sanahori
| FamilyVacationist.com

Traveling with a highly sensitive child requires patience, understanding and a willingness to adapt.
Preparing the child for the trip with detailed plans and discussions helps manage expectations and reduce anxiety.
It’s crucial to plan for downtime and respect the child’s boundaries, even if it means deviating from the travel plan.
Celebrating small victories and focusing on positive experiences help build resilience and create lasting memories.

I was standing in line at an airport restaurant with my son when I realized I needed to change how I parented him. I’ve always prided myself on giving my seven-year-old a choice in the things he could control, but this time being asked to quickly choose between a milkshake or a donut left him frustrated and angry.

“I can’t make a decision that quickly! “That’s so mean and unfair,” he shot back at me. The damage was done; My offers to give him more time or to decide for him were unsuccessful. He was upset and needed time alone – especially in a crowded airport – to calm down.

I had started reading “The Highly Sensitive Child” by Dr. Elaine Aron and suspected that my son had the genetic trait that she describes in her book as highly sensitive. I realized that the way I process quick decisions in busy airports may be different than the way my son can. Instead of pushing him to be faster like me, I knew I needed to become more understanding of the differences in our personality traits.

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“There is brain research on the thalamus, the gatekeeper of information, which enables more information,” says Sophie Schauermann, clinical director of Rooted Rhythm Therapy. “The sensitive brain that sees something positive or negative, be it birthday cake and puppies or snakes and car accidents, actually becomes more enlightened and stays enlightened longer.”

Dr. Aron’s book explains that up to 20% of children and adults are highly sensitive. This means that around one in five people not only absorb more information than average, but also process it more intensively. Highly sensitive people tend to feel emotions more deeply. They may also need more time to assess a situation or decide what is best for them.

Most highly sensitive children and adults are introverts, so at first I didn’t think my outgoing son fit into that category. Dr. Aron’s book made it clear that up to 30% of highly sensitive people are extroverts. This allowed me to see that although my son enjoys visiting new places and talking to strangers, he still analyzes everything thoroughly.

“We see big ups and downs. Sometimes, even within the same hour, it’s the worst day or the best day of our lives, and parents love to hear that because they think about a really nice vacation and wonder: Why is my child having the worst day? “That’s simply because the pendulum swing of big ups and downs can be big, and I teach parents to normalize that,” says Schauermann.

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My patient and kind son also has a deep connection to the people and places we visit. Whether admiring the beauty of the maple trees and raked stones in Portland’s Japanese gardens or figuring out how to play with children who speak different languages than him, it’s wonderful to watch him see the world from his perspective.

After considering traveling to 20 countries and 16 states with my son, I have learned a lot about traveling with a highly sensitive child. With Schauermann’s guidance, I have now set the following priorities for every vacation.

Communicate travel plans in advance

When a trip approaches, I tell my son where we are going and what we are going to do. Setting expectations gives him time to think about the upcoming changes to his daily routine. I show him pictures when I have them and give him time to ask questions about any part of our trip that he may be unsure about.

When travel plans go awry, we discuss the changes and how stressful they can feel, especially since highly sensitive people may have higher cortisol levels when navigating unexpected scenarios.

Plan for downtime

While traveling, it is important to allow time for rest and relaxation, especially on busy days. A quiet break after lunch helps us all recharge for the second wind of the day.

“Sensitive children have a strong need to relax, regulate and process. They may even need a few hours of screen time to unwind, process and quiet their brains,” says Schauermann.

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Screen time can involve judgment, but Schauermann says relying on technology when traveling with highly sensitive children isn’t automatically a negative.

“Anecdotally, I’ve found that some of the sensitive children we work with really need some time to almost review and dissociate when they’ve taken in too much. You need some relaxation, not time. “That’s why I support parents in making decisions that reflect their values in this area,” she says.

Honor boundaries

For spring break, I booked my son and I to stay at the Novotel Belo Horizonte Hotel in Brazil specifically because of the two-story spiral slide in the lobby. I imagined my son slipping for hours as I watched him from the couch in the hotel lobby.

When we arrived my son was so excited when he saw the indoor slide, but when he got to the top he decided the slide was too big and too dark; he didn’t want to risk being afraid.

I do my best to respect his boundaries through trips and trying new foods, even if that means we don’t eat or experience everything I’d hoped for from a once-in-a-lifetime trip.

Take time to socialize

Whether I’m going to an amusement park or a bookstore together, I really value talking to my son, and now I know it can regulate him too. According to Schauermann, it can be relaxing for a highly sensitive child to plan just 20 minutes of bonding time with a caregiver on a trip.

“It is a gift for sensitive children to have a role model of another sensitive person who is also learning their own limits and boundaries and how to regulate and respect their own sensitivities. “It’s a gift, and they usually also receive a high level of approval from family members,” says Schauermann.

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Even though I tend to make hasty decisions and don’t feel emotions as deeply, Schauermann showed me how I can also be a positive guide for my son.

“The insensitive person or parent can also be a great gift to the highly sensitive child because they are exemplary and don’t take things in so deeply. And often they manage to keep their distance if they choose to understand and learn about the sensitive child and all that. They are able to give the highly sensitive child space without becoming too involved in becoming the feeling.”

Celebrate the victories

We spent an afternoon at Seabreeze Amusement Park in Rochester, New York, a classic theme park with dozens of rides and water attractions. My son had just finished riding the swing carousel when a small, approaching storm prompted everyone to seek shelter from lightning under designated awnings near the park’s halftime games.

“I never enjoy it!” The bold statement burst from my son’s body just before thunder echoed through the air as if adding to his frustration.

I now know that it is common for children like my son to have strong reactions. I began to sympathize with him and talked about his disappointment as we waited out the storm.

“I know! It’s so frustrating trying to go on the water attractions now, but we have to wait,” I reiterated.

About twenty minutes later the skies cleared and the rides reopened. After the park employees gave the all-clear, my son ran ahead of me to the Log Flume, where he rode three times in a row. Each swoop over the ride’s artificial waterfall brought a bigger smile to his face.

After he had had enough of the ride, I gently reminded him that everything had gone well after our wait. When he agreed, I internally celebrated my great mother’s victory.

My highly sensitive child has been to 20 countries. How We Make Travel Success, originally published on FamilyVacationist.com.

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The views and opinions expressed in this column are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of USA TODAY. FamilyVacationist.com and TourScoop.com are owned and operated by Vacationist Media LLC. Using the FamilyVacationist travel recommendation methodology, we review and select family vacation ideas, family vacation spots, all-inclusive family resorts, and classic family vacations for all ages. TourScoop covers guided group tours and tour operators, tour operator reviews, itinerary reviews and travel gear recommendations.

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How I travel around the world with my highly sensitive child

Communicate travel plans in advance

Plan for downtime

Honor boundaries

Take time to socialize

Celebrate the victories

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How I travel around the world with my highly sensitive child

Communicate travel plans in advance

Plan for downtime

Honor boundaries

Take time to socialize

Celebrate the victories

More from FamilyVacationist:

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Man charged with attempted murder after attack with golf club

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